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Relationships Thursday: When The feeling Is Not Mutual

 
What do you do when the feeling is not mutual?
You extend a hearty handshake, you receive a dead fish instead.
You give a smile,  and what you get, a sneer!
You try to be cordial and friendly and all you encounter,  snobbishness!
You have even gone to the point of explaining yourself,  but no much good.
The feeling is simply not mutual and your gestures are not reciprocated.

Here are 5 things I know that can help;

  • Do it anyway, No regrets please: After all its your deal, you are the one who is making the move. It’s your offer and call and because you choose to do this anyway – you will quit on your own terms.  I mean why would you want the other party to determine your line of action when intrinsically you were doing this out of the goodness of your heart?
  • Check your motivation: Look deep within and ask yourself. Why am I doing this?  If you find strong enough motivation then all you have to do is – yes you guessed it right. Do it anyway!
  • Check your expectations: Are you doing it to get something from the other party?  What is in it for you?
    Depending on what you find here you either continue and do it anyway or the other line of action.  Stop it and quit! Yes absolutely,  for your own good!
  • Check your boundaries: The other two choices are about taking precaution.  Have you violated any boundaries whether personal,  cultural or even professional?  If yes perhaps you owe the other person an apology and graciously make your exit.  Otherwise one and two could be applicable.
  • Be more discerning in your choices: This too is precautionary. As they say prevention is better than cure – and being able to discern well in advance where your kindness,  friendliness and camaraderie is not welcome is an energy saving skill.  Unless you are the long suffering type or you feel called to ‘love’ such type of people,  you will agree with me that it’s often not worth all the trouble for such a lot. Just appreciate that sometimes in life there people you will not get along with – embrace that and move on!

timitude

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3 thoughts on “Relationships Thursday: When The feeling Is Not Mutual”

  1. lyndasharp2 says:

    Useful interesting and thought provoking too when it comes to deaf people attempting to do the positive approach only to be rebuffed again and again but we all continue on our way with a big smile armed with the philosophy ‘so be it….your loss not mine!’ We do know our worth nevertheless.

    1. timitude says:

      Thanks Lynda. I suppose sometimes we just have to soldier on regardless of other people’s prejudices. We owe it to ourselves in the end to be true to our convictions even though it will cost us. You most welcome to share any additional insight collaboratively on this topic. Thanks again for your comment.

  2. Freeman says:

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