Relationships Thursday: Break-Ups for Make Up!
Can we break up to make up? Is there even such a thing… Hear it from your Relationships Guru.. the Dazzling Nancy Wyna. Enjoy!
Recently I got an email from one of my fans who is really inspired by my writing standard. It was the greatest mail I admired and got me so emotional into thinking of Break ups in a whole new way. One of my die-hard fans had invited me to assist him in preparations of his wedding. What made me wonder is the fact that this was not only a wedding invitation to me but sounded more of a welcome back (for lack of a better word). Being a great enthusiast of mine I wouldn’t hesitate to give him my ears and piece of advice.
The email read “after 13 years apart, these two have decided they want to be back together and this time for good” Was it worth the wait? This was the first question that I asked myself. After severally going through the same email I came to realize that some breaks up are meant for make up, I have always thought of a break up as an end, a defined break but can now comfortably tell that sometimes a break up can serve a couple better if considered a pause, or at the very least temporary, in order to better a relationship that isn’t flowing like it could.
Does breaking up to make up work? Well, I admit some ideas for break ups are not meant for makeup e.g. where Domestic violence has been the cause then it’s a no go back zone, whereas some like poor communication, Lack of no time can be amended for makeups.
Sometimes it’s clear that in relationships not all are of the idea that they belong to each other forever, apart from those in marriages. It’s usual to get that in a romantic relationship, one is a trailer; one who always does the chase, always committed and a persuader who influences and brings the best in the other person. However while there is still that other partner who you will find is a detacher: he or she looks so distant in a relationship. Unlike the trailer who is afraid of being abandoned, loves being in the relationship and has no issue of being precipitate and is willing to take risks in a relationship.
The detacher prefers to leave everything in the air, always wants space but is full of issues when communication is expected. Majority happens to be workaholic and at times stands still in relationships out of fear of being rejected .A break up is necessary then when those two roles become so unbalanced that they affect the interaction negatively, i.e. the detacher seems so distant and non-responsive that the Trailer chases even more, with both running in circles, spiraling downwards fast. The break up then allows for both parties to get some space, refocus, ground themselves into a healthier dynamic and focus on whatever issues they have individually in order to come together again and determine if the relationship can withstand the storm.
Majority of those who have been in and out of relationships will agree with me that some have had capability success from a break-up. After dating for months, years and getting really serious about each other, then breaking up over because of some life and relationship challenges that we they would never overcome while still together . It may sound draining and heart-breaking for both of parties but later, after agreeing to try again –it may be the most fruitful! The key for successful break up to make up, is for each individual to work through whatever hitches, baggage, self- betterment etc. while evaluating self. Break up time will also help to make a list of all the great things you had together to help strengthen your determination to work things out in the best way possible.
Well! Sometimes a little break can go a long way into sealing a relationship .In my opinion it’s a mature way to give space to work things out .When true love exists, one always comes out stronger into the relationship.