Relationships Thursday: The Sociopath
If you think you don’t know one.. Think again after you read this piece from the scintillating Nancy Wyna. The Sociopath… Read on…
Its only mountains that do not meet ,a true saying especially once we part ways; at one point in life you may later meet. The only thing that’s certain is uncertainty. Life is change, growth and evolution, which can be exhilarating but change can also feel taxing and painful. Change creates new tensions and uncertainties in our lives. There are so many events over which we have no control. Can you let go of control? In doing so, you are able to step back and appreciate the wonder of our world and learn to embrace uncertainty, a fearsome, yet beautiful certainty of life.
Most times it is always hard for us to turn down an old friend who meant so much to us and touched our lives with lots of good moments. This happened to be a reason why after my child hood friend *Kevin * invited me for a coffee date in order to catch up also it was impossible for me to say NO.
The date was set when I was to meet Kevin, It happened to be on a Saturday noon. We planned to meet at an Ethiopian restaurant in town considering that this time all we needed was to talk and have more talk and thus there was need for a silent place.
Being always time conscious I made it to the restaurant fifteen minutes to our said venue, I placed my cappuccino order waiting for my date Kevin to arrive ,all this time I kept myself busy with my phone thank God for the digital era for smart phone.
Time ran so fast that actually I didn’t notice that my time with Kevin had elapsed, and it had exceeded with about 45 minutes past the said time, I started getting impatient with my date Kevin but one thing is that I really had expected this from him as I had grew up and I had learned that time keeping was his weakness, it reached a point where by I called his line asking him how far he was and he told me he was 15 minutes away. I calmed down but deep within me I knew that this meant 30 minutes or so for him.
Being a lazy Saturday I didn’t bother much to keep on waiting, after 1 hour and 15 minutes my phone rang and Yes it was Kevin “am already at the restaurant basement looking for parking, joining you in less than 5 minutes”
10 minutes elapsed but he was not in the restaurant yet, for a reason having known him I didn’t bother much. After 15 minutes Thank God he was already arrived. But what was wrong with him.., Only God knows as he didn’t even care to apologize that he kept me waiting, anyway I always expect less from people to avoid disappointments.
Kevin all along had been a Sociopath since I knew him. He was characterized by a disregard for the feelings of others, a lack of remorse or shame, manipulative behavior, unchecked egocentricity, and the ability to lie in order to achieve his goals.
All along we kept chatting with him, but he was one of a kind, all he would speak was slowly gaining dominance and control over me without him realizing it. He seemed to be in control of every situation and was making me uncomfortable considering that I have always been a strong person.
Dealing with a sociopath either a friend or being in a relationship with one such kind of a person can be really hard. Sociopaths can be dangerous at worst or simply very difficult to deal with, and it’s only hard also to let them go. In most cases they tend to have a completely unrealistic view of their own abilities; for example, they may think that they are extremely talented at singing or dancing, when in reality, they possess almost no skills in these fields.
In relationships Sociopaths are great at charming people, because they know how to get what they want. Charming people know how to make people feel special, to ask people the right questions about themselves, and to generally be perceived as fun, likable, and interesting. Truly charming people possess the ability to charm almost anyone, from little kids to old ladies. If the person is incredibly charming at first glance, while his or her later behavior scares or confuses you, then you may have a sociopath on your hands. To advance their goals, they first have to blend in with the crowd, which means they need to know how to smile, greet people, and make people feel comfortable.
They happen to understand human weakness and exploit it maximally thus being manipulative in nature, once determined, they can influence individuals to do just about anything. Sociopaths prey on weak people and often stay away from equally strong people; they look for people who are sad, insecure, or looking for a meaning in life because they know that these people are soft targets.
Next time you go out for a date be it with a friend or a partner look out for this signs and if they occur flee for your life!