Confession here! I got on the scale yesterday morning, and horror of horrors! I had gained five pounds in the last month. After I gathered myself and did my deep breathing, I immediately went into the blame-shame game.
Too stressed, too tired, too busy to eat right. Hormones slowed my metabolism. Face it! I am no longer that young hot thing who could eat what she wanted, when she wanted, and how she wanted. Better shape up if I want to attract and keep that man, right?
SCREECH!!!!!!! Uh, uh! No way – no how!
I called my best girl pal complaining to her about the extra poundage and how “fluffy” I was getting. Know what she said? Well, I won’t share her expletives here, but she was, to put it mildly, shocked and appalled I would even think I was overweight.
Isn’t it interesting how two women with two very different bodies hold judgment of the other because of what society says is beautiful? We all carry scars of judgments, blame, and shame – the blame-shame game. Isn’t it time to release the blame-shame game and embrace what is beautiful within?
I envy my friend because she seems comfortable in her own skin, and I never hear one complaint about the ice cream or extra helping of pasta she enjoys. Overweight? Maybe a little, but on her? You just don’t see it.
All the while, she says she envies me because I have lost so much weight since last year and look younger than I did a couple of years ago. Well, I had to – no choice.
Ok, another confession here. Last year I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and immediately cut out all sugars, starches, and carbs. One thing I learned from this as well is that I was being judged because of this disease. Immediately, I was warned about losing weight and eating right. Frankly, it was not my diet at all.
First, I have developed severe arthritis in my right knee due to a basketball injury. It kept me from engaging in any cardio exercises at all. Second? I was 100% vegan and ate only organic food. The only carbs I ate were good carbs that were known for protein. Sugary foods? Hardly any at all. And yet, because of my physical limitations, I gained weight – a lot!
So, I made drastic food choice changes. In just three short months, I lost over 40 pounds. And until this last month, was still losing.
Now, I do not recommend this drastic of food control, and it was not my diet that caused Diabetes. The problem was stress – my body simply decided it had enough of those stress reactions and took a break. But that’s a whole other topic.
What I’m trying to say in all of this is that, as women (and I’m told men feel this too), we judge each other based on what society says we should be. We judge ourselves harshly based on what society says. Guilty!
I know my shortcomings, but you know what? I’m learning to love them as part of who I am. It’s not easy because I carry many scars of the past, but I’m a work in progress. I have ceased judging others based on what society says is beautiful and acceptable and have learned to look within for what is amazing. Was it easy? Nope, not at all. But, it sure is worth it.
In not judging others, perhaps I can master not judging myself. At least, that’s the plan!