Perfect and Worth It!
I wonder sometimes just what it means to be perfect. I’m not talking perfection without flaws. I’m talking about knowing that whatever state we are in is the perfect state for us at that one moment. I understand that this is a hard concept to grasp, and there are times when I question it myself.
But, here’s the thing! I can look back into events in my life and see for myself how certain events and incidents brought me to where I am. I am going to share some not so pretty stuff here simply because I can already hear the naysayers and doubters of what I am saying today.
I dealt with some pretty traumatic events in my childhood and teen years. Things that filtered into my adult life. Some things I buried deep inside where I nor anyone else could see them. Some just started reappearing a few short years ago, and believe me, they created what most would see as imperfect events and results.
I won’t go into the gory details, but suffice it to say that the results manifested into eating disorders and self-harm with scars to prove just how imperfect I thought I was.
I look in the mirror now, and see a woman who has survived some of the most traumatic and difficult things that could happen to anyone. And yes, according to society, my appearance is far less than perfect and the memories that rise from the deep, at times, take me to dark places.
That all being said, I have learned and continue to learn that from those things in my life. I myself am perfect. Why? Because I lived through it all, became stronger for it, and have the amazing opportunity to share with others that have stories such as mine.
This is how my so-called imperfections have turned to perfection. And yes, there are times when I doubt myself and times when I do not feel so perfect. But, in the end, I have a deep wellspring of reserves that allow me to share with others and to learn to love myself unconditionally.
Is it easy? Absolutely not! Nothing really is very easy, but the question is – is it worth it? I can only answer that question for myself. For me, it was painful, and I still reel from the memories at times, but I can take those memories and create a space of healing for myself and for others. Do I wish for a different early life? Sure! However, I am who I am because of my past. And yes, for me, I have created value from it. Yes, there is real worth from it. Because I am worth it! And yes, I am perfect!