I have a new favorite song. Those that know me know that music is important to me. I have said before, and it still is true. Music has been the defining factor of my life. Each and every moment – important or not – has been defined by a particular song that embodied my feelings, my emotions, inspired me, and took me to a place of validation that, yes! I am on my right and perfect path. Even the hardest times of my life. It was music that got me through it.
My new favorite song? “Invincible” by Kelly Clarkson. I heard it for the first time a few weeks ago when she sang it on a televised award show, and I fell in love with it then. But it didn’t impact me until yesterday when I listened, really listened, to the words.
It was one of those AHA! moments that kicked me in the proverbial you-know-what! I thought about all that I have overcome in my life, and realized that I am still here – strong and determined to move forward in my life.
That is also what hit me so hard. It is so easy to let the past and current “stuff” mire us down in the bowels of whatever it is that keeps us from realizing our real potential. That is what this song did for me.
I saw myself as a woman with a lot of passions that lived for a long time allowing others to define her role in the world. I realized that this was no longer my truth. I have been changing and evolving for the past few years, and now? Well, with the support of some pretty amazing friends and close ones, the cage door is wide open! And this little bird is soaring into new heights that will take her where ever her heart desires.
It has been a very long journey, and I have stumbled along the way. We all do. I still stumble, but through it all, I made it through. I stood against the gale forces that beat against me and threatened to carry me off.
I am not a superwoman nor am I one of those Pollyanas that wear rose-colored glasses. I have experienced hurt and pain just like everyone does. But, frankly, while I may allow myself time to have my own pity parties, I refuse to let it keep me down for too long.
I have no magical potions or incantations that change everything. I have no wise words that work every time. No one does.
We have to find that ourselves. We have to reach out to those that support us and help us grow. We have to let go of that which keeps us down. Hard as it may be – it doesn’t serve us or anyone else to stay in the muck.
Confession time, here. I experience PTSD and depression – something with which I struggle constantly. But I want you to notice one particular phrase that I just wrote. I wrote that “I experience” – not that I have or am. That is another aspect the song reminded me of – it is our language that keeps us down. If I say I have or am something, I am owning it. Just like a pet. A very wise friend told me one time that instead of saying I have or I am some malady or another, say I have experienced.
The reasoning? It becomes an experience that makes us grow and learn from it. So, I experience PTSD and depression, and I grow from it and learn from it. Just as any other experience in life, we grow from it and move beyond it to become as the song says, “Invincible.”
To quote the song, “I am invincible!”