You Do Too!
I took a moment to look back on the last few years. Not out of nostalgia – although, that sounds like a great idea. But it is because I am on my last class for my degree.
I started back to college in November, 2011 with only nine credit hours to transfer. At that time, I knew it was going to be a long road, but I had no idea just how long it was going to be. And to be expected, life took a lot of twists and turns.
I was apprehensive at first, not knowing if it would be worth it. Not knowing if I would be able to keep up. But keep up, I did. I excelled!
I went in with a major in Applied Behavioral Sciences thinking I would go into counseling of some kind. But I quickly learned that this was not my passion. I made a huge change early on to a double major in Journalism, adding Political Science to the mix.
I have worked hard and maintained a 4.0 straight through. And now I am entering my final class knowing that this journey has taken me beyond what I thought possible. In looking back, I realize that I am not the same woman I was a few short years ago.
It is this that brings me to this place of wonderment. This place of self-awe. I have been through health challenges, life challenges, financial challenges, and emotional challenges. I have had great successes and great trials that brought me to my knees several times. But one thing that stayed constant? My drive to keep going no matter what.
To me, that is the spirit of stretching ourselves, reaching out to become more than we thought we could be. That is what makes us such magnificent creatures. That will to keep going – even when we are ready to leave it all behind. And believe me, I have had those moments.
We all do! None of us are alone in this. I will confess that I am not some great and mighty super woman. I have moments of insecurities, doubts, and great fears. And some of those fears are those that take constant work.
I have struggles that are always there, and I have times when I just want to throw in the towel. I am true to my Pisces nature. When life gets scary, I want to swim away and hide out until the dark and ugly monsters go away.
Sometimes, I don’t rise above it. Sometimes, I collapse in a big mess. But, you know what? I come out of the darkness with growth and a greater understanding of who and what I am. I come out with a greater love of myself and a greater love for those that help me through. I come out with a greater passion for those things that make me smile.
One thing I have learned through all of this is to reach out to others. I have always gone it alone, but I have learned that I don’t have to. I just have to ask. Asking is terribly difficult for me, so the first time I asked, I was afraid I wouldn’t be heard.
And I wasn’t – at least, not by the one I thought would hear me. But someone else did. He reached out for my hand, grasped it, and pulled me to safety. I see myself now as a woman who has faults and fears, but who has something there that is magnificent.
And you know what? You do too!